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Wednesday, January 6th, 2010
too_much_info
[ creativexangst ]
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10:09p
You know that ache you get after a huge shit, or after you just had a really big cock in you (in the vag, not the poop chute)? Yea, I have both of those right now. My silky igloo is really achey and my ass is sore-and I havnt had sex in over 2 months, nor do I use toys, nor do I need to poo. So why do I feel like I just took the great american challenge?
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masturbationto
[ ready2please ]
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5:58p
Not Really New Years Resolutions - Masturbation Tales
Not Really New Years Resolutions – Masturbation Tales I’m not really one for coming up with New Years resolutions and this year isn’t really any different than any other year. But I noticed a pattern through the first few days of the year. So far through January 5, I have masturbated at least one time a day, and on Sunday I actually had three forty five minute sessions. Holy crap, but I was out of control that day. It was amazing. January 1, masturbated 1 time January 2, masturbated 2 times January 3, masturbated 3 times January 4, masturbated 1 time January 5, masturbated 1 time (and the day isn’t over yet)
( “Fuck, Daddy. That is so hot. My lips wrapped around your Daddy Cock. Oh, fuck!” I tell him as I am rubbing my clitty. )
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too_much_info
[ tibaloo ]
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11:38a
stuck tampon
this is more a question than a story - hope you don't mind!
A couple of weeks ago I had my period and used tampons as normal. I know you're not meant to leave tampons in overnight because it's too long but I always do it as otherwise I wake up in a bloodbath.
So that morning I was v sleepy cauz I got woken up and went to the bathroom. I realised I already had blood on my pad so the tampon must've been full but I think I couldn't find the string or was lazy so decided to go back to sleep.
When I woke up again a couple hours later and back to the loo I searched for aages for it and just couldn't find it at all.
How many people has this happened to? From what I read people seem to say that it only gets stuck if you have sex or inserted a second one or did some rough exercising - as I didn't do any of that what are the chances it fell in the toilet (though I'm pretty sure it didn't) I took it out (again pretty sure I didn't) or didn't insert it (pretty sure I did..)
As you can see I'm only pretty sure about everything not 100% - I'm on holiday for another 2 weeks so really dont wanna go to the doc, and even when am back i'd rather not ;)
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too_much_info
[ the_cazualty ]
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4:15a
3.30am TMI
Earlier today, I had a small handful of dried apricots for lunch. Little did I know, hours later, I would get the bloating of my life. So you know, I have never been bloated like this ever from dried apricots, let alone just a few of them. But I know it was the apricots, as it was all I had to eat at that point.
Anyhoo. Hours of this insane bloating pain goes by. It's like I ate the antithesis of prunes. But, thinking they come from the same family of fruit, you would just shit the pain away, but not in this case. Holy crap, not even a bottle of Bean-o could save me. And then the farting starts (luckily this happens when I get home, as the bloating all occurred when I was at work).
And I fart.
And I fart.
And I fart.
And I fart.
And I fart.
This literally goes on for hours. Seriously, farting non-stop, for hours. I take trips from my room to the bathroom (as I'm afraid at times something may cause mud-butt), avoiding my roommates because I don't want them to smell all the flatulence that is coming out of me. At times while on the pot, little specks of fiber city fly out of my ass, like G-force winds pushing them out. And I know, that if I hold it in, I'm fucked. It'll just gurgle about in my abdomen for hours like some rancid alien stomach version of a chest-burster just dying to get out, and the pain will be even worse than before. Frankly, there's no choice, that fart has to come out. And then there are times when my ass is full of hot air, and it won't come out, and the pressure on the walls of my abdomen is so great, I also have no choice but to push that fart out, too. All kinds of fucked up sounds and smells, barreling out of my ass, whether I control it or not, just to get some sort of relief.
And finally, the pressure simmers down, and it's the best thing in the world. Holy crap, my ass hurts from some serious business going on down there, but frankly, I prefer it at this point.
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(5 comments | comment on this) Tuesday, January 5th, 2010
weluvmstrb8ting
[ ready2please ]
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11:13p
Not Really New Years Resolutions - Masturbation Tales
Not Really New Years Resolutions – Masturbation Tales I’m not really one for coming up with New Years resolutions and this year isn’t really any different than any other year. But I noticed a pattern through the first few days of the year. So far through January 5, I have masturbated at least one time a day, and on Sunday I actually had three forty five minute sessions. Holy crap, but I was out of control that day. It was amazing. January 1, masturbated 1 time January 2, masturbated 2 times January 3, masturbated 3 times January 4, masturbated 1 time January 5, masturbated 1 time (and the day isn’t over yet)
( “Fuck, Daddy. That is so hot. My lips wrapped around your Daddy Cock. Oh, fuck!” I tell him as I am rubbing my clitty. )
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(comment on this) Wednesday, January 6th, 2010
too_much_info
[ 10x_better ]
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1:16a
Is there any correlation between vasovagal syncope and IBS? I haven't been diagnosed with IBS, so I don't know if it's what I have. BUT i DO know that since I was 13 I feel the need to be anxious over whether or not I'm going to have the runs at inopportune times because it frequently happens. Also, not unlike many times, I've been pooping rabbit turds for the last couple days. Despite my good ol' college tries, I just poop rocks, rocks, and more rocks.
Just a few minutes ago, however, I pooped a ton. Which made me feel like I was about to pass out. Usually when I feel this way, I freak out like a dummy, jump up from the toilet, wash my hands (I'm the product of a germaphobe), and try to make it to the nearest bed to lie down. I never make it. I always pass out. Fortunately though, tonight I was smart. I said, "Dummy, you're fine. Stick your head between here and here *points to knees* and relax." I waited for the feeling to pass, and then got the hell out of the bathroom.
I'm seeing my PCP in a week or 2. But I wanted to post this here too because I often wish my body decided to be normal for a change. Posting here reminds me I'm not alone. It's nice.
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too_much_info
[ balljointed ]
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1:11a
So, what are your favorite euphemisms for genitalia? Being FTM, I am fond of "manhole", but I also like "downtown bonanza".
ETA Of course, it's only the morning after that I remember that my favorite word for a penis is "schwanz".
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(68 comments | comment on this) Tuesday, January 5th, 2010
too_much_info
[ deadlyxpretty ]
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11:25p
..
You know what sucks.
Pooping after anal sex.
You feel like you are passing this massive poop when you really just push out a pebble or maybe some lube/mucus!
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too_much_info
[ sandyladoo2you ]
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10:04p
I have a new job (yay!) as a dentist assistant. Mild TMI's.... but TMI's all the same.
Last week a guy got bridgework done. His teeth were in AWFUL condition, and a couple of them were implants. He wanted them OUT and wanted himself some better looking "teeth".
I get to hold the suction tubey. So I get a front row seat to the grossness. The dentist numbed the guy up, and went to work. She started drilling on this one tooth in particular, and all of a sudden... it fell apart. Just FELL APART. The dentist (of course) has seen this about 8 billion times, but she must have seen my eyes do this move: O.O and laughed to herself. But when the tooth "debris" was taken out... sticking out of the gums... was a metal screw. She took tweezers, and just slid it out. My stomach genuinely flipped 3 times. But I was fine. That's about the worst I've seen so far.
Tomorrow I think I'll be seeing my first extraction, which I'm nervous about. Apparently it's pretty disgusting. But once I get through that I think I'll be able to get through anything. As of now, the only thing that I absolutely cannot look at is the numbing needle. It's too gigantic and horrifying. The drilling, picking, etc, etc, I can do. Just not the shots.
current mood:  ditzy
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too_much_info
[ lipbalm_napalm ]
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12:06p
What's in YOUR closet?
anachronistic's post about decay reminded me of this incident...
Once upon a time, my husband and I were so poor that in a moment of desperation we moved in with his parents. We were given one room in which to live (his childhood bedroom). After a few weeks, we asked if we could perhaps use the closet in that room too (his mother had it full of useless junk). I volunteered to help her clean it out. I found a coffee can in the bottom of the closet, and curious about the contents, I shook it. It rattled. I thought perhaps it was full of pennies or childhood toys or something. I opened the can to discover that I was, unfortunately, wrong.
Cat turds.
Old, fossilized cat turds.
WHY why whyyy someone would save cat poop in a coffee can for heaven knows how many years, I will never understand. At this point, I decided I didn't really need the closet THAT badly and abandoned the project. *shudder*
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too_much_info
[ e_mily ]
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11:52a
Something is making my laundry come out of the washer smelling like spooge.
The only thing I can think of is the oxyclean. Unless my guys developed a washer fetish in the past two weeks and started using the bleach dispenser cup for their own personal use.
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girl_and_girl
[ alinna86 ]
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9:09p
1001
Сайт Международных знакомств
Зачем присоединяться?
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Это безопасно?
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